he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
