she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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