I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
