just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
