Say something about gay babies.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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