Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
