if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
