in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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