I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
