He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
