i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
