is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
