I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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