he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
