Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
