ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
