Please, let me fuck your mom
Duck Duck Cougar?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
