I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
