I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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