She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
