Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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