what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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