I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
