He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
