You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
