Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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