I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
