You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
