I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
