..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
