puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize