When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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