Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Randomize
