O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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