i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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