I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize