I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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