i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize