why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
