halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
