so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
