Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
