i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Randomize
