Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I need to sanitize my soul.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize