My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
