I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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