OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
