OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
