So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
