you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Randomize
