ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
