Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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