i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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