you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Where is the hickey?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
