just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
