I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
