he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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