Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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