Soap is not a condiment
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
