PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
