I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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