I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
