I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize