everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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