i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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