I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
