and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
