nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
and you fell through a lawn chair
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
