i wish there were pregnant emoticons
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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