just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
