Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
