you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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