You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
