i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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