I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
