I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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