So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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