I just made out with a guy for $7.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
